I gazed out across the terrace, past the guard rail covered in vines, to the city that lay below. With a book in my left hand and a glass of Prosecco at my right, I felt content. I may have been all by myself, thousands of miles away from home, but right then, that was the least of my cares.

Such was not the case a mere half an hour earlier. After spending three hours at LAX, ten hours in an airplane, another two and a half hours at London-Heathrow and a couple more on a flight to Rome – all completed with very minimal human interaction – I had finally arrived at my destination.

I found my luggage, hailed a cab, and checked into my hotel before it finally hit me: I was completely alone.

I normally don’t have a problem being on my own. In fact, some days I prefer it. I can be social, open, and chatty, but sometimes I feel the need to shut myself off from the world.

But this, for some reason, was different. I have been dreaming of living on my own for more than a year, and yet this sense of being completely cut off from the world was terrifying. Of course, an apartment back in California, complete with the luxuries of home, as well as proximity to friends and family, would be very different from a hotel room in Rome. I knew only a few pertinent Italian phrases, but all of the buon giorno’s, scusi’s and ciao’s in the world could not transform into a fulfilling conversation.

My only hope for surviving what should be an exciting night was a small piece of white paper. The ticket, handed to me by one of the front desk staff, promised a complementary glass of Prosecco, Italy’s version of champagne, at the hotel’s rooftop garden bar. Now a woman with a purpose, I quickly changed, grabbed my book and camera, and headed to the top floor.

As I walked into the bar, showed the host my ticket, and sat at a small table out on the terrace, my panic subsided and relaxation began to set in. I was no longer threatened by uncomfortable conversations in broken English-Italian or of being alone with my thoughts. Finally, I was able to enjoy Rome the way I had originally intended. At this moment, no longer scared by my solo state, I was exactly where I wanted to be.

View of Roma